The Right Reasons
by weirdsquint
Summary: Season 6. Brennan decides to revisit a wish she had expressed over a year ago - to be a mother. Will she go through with it? What will Booth think about it?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Hello! I know there are a lot of stories out there about Brennan deciding to have a kid, but I decided to try it. **

**This is set in season 6 and Hannah is with Booth. For now. I apologize in advance for any kind of mistakes throughout the story. English is not my first language and I had no one to proofread it for me, so please let me know about the ones you find so I can correct them. Well, I guess that's all. Hope you enjoy it!**

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Brennan walked towards her best friend's office to retrieve the facial reconstruction for their latest murder victim. She stopped at the door when she realized Angela was talking to herself. Well, at least from where she was standing, she couldn't see anyone else in the office. As she looked closely she noticed the artist was looking down where her hands were resting over her growing stomach. Unable to help herself, Brennan just stood there, listening to the soft words uttered by her friend.

"You're really wearing me down, sweetheart. It's barely four in the afternoon and I already feel like going back to bed, peeing and having a snack all at once." She watched as Angela paused and a sweet smile dawned on her slightly rounder face. "But, you know what, honey? It's already worth it. Just feeling you move inside me is worth all of it. And I can't wait to see you. And your daddy…he's so excited. Plus, you'll be the coolest kid in the playground with all your cool squint and FBI aunts and uncles".

She couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed when Angela looked at the door and caught her staring. "Oh. Hi, sweetie? Do you need something? Guess I was distracted by the baby." She chuckled and Brennan smiled. "I'm sorry to eavesdrop, Ange, but you looked so…content." Brennan knew that it was irrational and that she was incredibly happy for her friend and Hodgins, but, deep down, there was a feeling of jealousy she couldn't extinguish.

Realizing her friend's keen eyes directed her way in a curious stare, Brennan quickly changed the subject before she got trapped in Angela's metaphorical web of questions. "I, uh, came to see if you were finished with the reconstruction so we can check with the missing person's database." The artist clearly didn't fall for the deflection and instructed the anthropologist to sit down beside her on the couch. She was, after all, uncomfortable standing up for long periods of time thanks to the big bulge and swollen ankles 26 weeks of pregnancy provided.

"Come on, Brennan. What's wrong? What's with the puppy eyes?" Angela didn't even give her the time to verbalize confusion evident on her frown. "Don't give me that, sweetie, you may not be familiar with the expression but you know very well what I mean. Why were you staring at me with longing? I know for sure it's not because of my body, 'cause, let's face it, Junior here is not doing wonders for it."

Her attempt at a joke completely eluded Brennan, whose eyes were focused solely on the hands resting on her lap. "I'm sorry, Angela. I know I'm acting in a very irrational manner. I…I just don't know why." When she finally looked up, blue eyes brimming with tears, she was met with the affectionate almost-black ones that had comforted her so many times over the years.

"It's okay, Bren. There's no need to apologize. Really."

The anthropologist was uncomfortable under her friend's gaze, but decided, since she was not very good at sorting through her emotions, it was better to ask Angela for her help. Usually, Booth would offer that kind of advice, but they hadn't spent as much time together lately, and she thought she would no longer be comfortable discussing this matter with him.

"Ange, can I ask you something?" Her voice was so quiet, almost afraid, as she looked up at her friend in a mix of confusion apprehension.

"Of course, Sweetie. You know I'm here for you, whatever you need."

At the affection in her friend's face and the reassuring touch of the hand on her own, Brennan took a deep breath and decided she needed to talk about something that had been on her mind for a few weeks now. "Do you think I would be a good mother?"

At that, Angela's expression softened and her grip on the other woman's hand tightened. "Oh, Bren. I think you'll be a _great_ mother. You care so much and you have so much love to offer to a child."

At her friend's encouragement, Brennan finally shared something that had been on her mind since Booth's coma. "I really want to be a mother, Ange. This desire hasn't really left my mind since I asked for Booth's sperm. Lately I've been even having dreams about me having a child. In some, it's adopted, and others it's my own baby. I guess I have been somewhat influenced by your pregnancy." She finished sadly.

"I'm sorry, Bren. I had no idea you still thought about that. I guess seeing Booth making plans for his future with Hannah doesn't really help, huh?"

Brennan's face quickly hid the vulnerability it had been showing and she did her best to muster up a confused frown. "What? The fact that Booth is making plans with Hannah has nothing to do with my desire to be a parent. As far as I am concerned they haven't even discussed the topic of children yet." The last bit was said with a tone of concealed pride over the fact that he had broached such a topic with her over a year ago and had yet to do so with his cohabitating girlfriend.

Angela rolled her eyes at the poor attempt of a lie, but decided to let it slide for the moment. Instead, she tackled the issue from a different angle. "Well, since you already know my opinion, tell me yours. Do _you_ think you'll be a good mother?"

"I don't know, Ange. I'm not the most adept person in social settings nor am I very good at interpersonal relationships. Therefore, I don't know if I will be a good influence on a child in spite of my obviously superior intellect and financial stability." Finally, trying to convince Angela and herself she concluded, "that is why I had originally chosen Booth to be the donor, in order to provide my child with genetic traits that I could not offer, such as the social skills I already mentioned." She seemed pleased with herself after the clearly _rational_ explanation she was able to find for asking her partner for a sperm donation.

The artist thought best, once again, to save the partner issues for later – she _definitely _did not buy that whole 'generic traits' thing - and focus on the motherhood issues first. "Sweetie, I know that you would make a wonderful mom, not because o of your brain but because of you heart. You may not see it, you may deny it when people tell you but you _do_ have a big heart and I'm sure that your child would be extremely lucky to have you. Just as my little boy will be to have you as his godmother." Before she had a chance o argue, Angela continued, "are you considering it again? Having a baby?"

Brennan heaved a long sigh and answered with a certainty she had not realized she possessed until that very moment. "Yes. I really am, Ange." The first hint of a smile threatened to spread over her lips as her friend tried desperately o hide a squeal.

Angela's face grew serious after a moment when se realized the implications of her friend's decision. Before she could control herself she asked "How, Brennan? Booth is with Hannah now. I mean, I think it would be a little weird to use the sperm of a man who is in a serious relationship with another woman. Don't you?"

Brennan's face fell a little at that but she quickly hid it, "No, Ange. I'm not going o use Booth's sperm".

As she was about to continue describing her plan, her phone rang and she excused herself to go meet Booth for a conference with Caroline Julian about the trial of one of the murderers they had arrested a while ago.

When she had almost reached the door of the office, the baffled artist yelled, "Bren! This conversation is not over."

Brennan just smiled and nodded. "I know, Ange. And thanks again for asking me to be the godmother. Although I have a profound dislike for the term, I am very glad that you chose me."

At that, Angela couldn't do anything but smile and wave her goodbye. Getting up from the couch, her face grew serious again as she asked the baby in her uterus if his godmother had decided to have a child for the right reasons. Because she really didn't think jealousy – conscious or not – was a good reason to enter motherhood.

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**A/N: So? ****Let me know if you think I should go on with it.**

******Thanks,  
Marina. **


	2. Chapter 2

Being the perceptive man that he was, Agent Booth quickly noticed the way his partner's demeanor was different from the argumentative, opinionated scientist he was used to. She had barely said five words to him since settling in on the passenger sit of his FBI issued SUV. He decided, in spite of the small smile on her lips, something had to be wrong with her. "So, Bones, what's with the quietness?"

She looked over at him carefully, as if debating with herself whether or not to share what was on her mind. When she finally made a decision, her voice held that clinical tone to it, noticeably intending not to pursue the conversation, "Nothing, Booth. I just have a lot of unidentified remains back at the Jeffersonian that require my attention and I was trying to come up with the most productive way to divide the work between my interns."

Obviously, he didn't believe old bones from limbo would be enough to keep his partner quiet but decided to let it go since she clearly didn't want to discuss what was bothering her. So he just nodded and turned up the radio to drown out the silence he hated so much. Tapping his fingers on the wheel impatiently, he tried to figure out since when Bones had stopped trusting him with what was wrong with her.

The more he thought about it, the clearer it became to him that since their return a few months back his partner hasn't shown that much interest in spending time with him outside of work. Whenever he started to ask her about it she just brought up his girlfriend, asking how Hannah was doing with her work or how their relationship was going.

Even though Bones had always shown curious interest in his love life in the past, she'd never used it to deflect talking about herself before. He didn't really understand why she was doing that, especially since she seemed to like Hannah. Throughout the entire meeting with Caroline, Booth was just going through the motions, taking notes and answering question when asked. In reality, he was focusing on how different his partnership seemed since his return from Afghanistan.

After dropping his partner back at the Jeffersonian he met his girlfriend for lunch. He didn't really feel like pie, so he declined Hannah's invitation for the meal at The Royal Diner and opted for another restaurant close to his office building instead.

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Back at the Jeffersonian, Brennan's mind was still reeling after the conversation with Angela earlier in the day. Much like that day in Sweets' office she had reached her decision to become a mother. She admitted it was sudden, but her thought process _was _faster than the average intelligent person.

She was sure she wanted this. She just had to decide how she wanted to do it. At first, she had intended to get pregnant, conceive her child with the sperm sample provided by her loyal, courageous partner with excellent people skills. Now, analyzing the current state of their relationship she didn't think that was the wisest course of action. It's not as if they weren't still close, but she had to concede that things had been different since their return and even more so after Hannah had come to DC.

She honestly liked Hannah. They were similar in a lot of ways, both were independent women, driven by their professional goals and they also shared interest in Booth's happiness. That is what she liked most about Hannah: she made Booth happy. And even though Brennan had entertained foolish fantasies of being with her partner during the time she spent in Maluku, she honestly thought Hannah was better for him. She was emotionally available, open-hearted and believed in the kind of love Booth longed for.

Brennan knew she couldn't be the kind of woman his partner wanted and deserved. Because Booth deserved the best and on a personal capacity, Temperance Brennan knew she was as far from the best as they come.

An intern coming in with a report for her to sign shook her out of her reverie and she wondered how she had gone from thinking of having a child to thinking about her partner so quickly. _Oh, his sperm, _she realized, thinking back to the beginning of her internal debate.

It was then that she concluded she could not conceive a child. Booth's sperm was off-limits with his new relationship and she really didn't want to use some stranger's sperm. Granted, she would know the basic characteristics of the donor. But what about personality traits? How could she use the sperm of someone who was not alpha-male, protective, cocky and whose charm smile was able to metaphorically melt the resolve of the most stubborn of scientists?

When she had first considered having a progeny, she knew that Booth would be there for her during the course of the pregnancy. And that made her feel reassured that she wasn't going to be by herself during those delicate months.

She had been alone ever since she was fifteen and her brother had left after the disappearance of their parents. She liked to take pride on the fact that she was just fine on her own, unlike most people. Somehow, she didn't think she could go through a pregnancy like that. Maybe it was because her mother had always told her how wonderful her father was while she was pregnant with Russ and Temperance, always doing his best to help her stay comfortable.

Whenever she thought about it, that's how she imagined Booth would be during her own pregnancy. The excessive protectiveness, although frustrating, was endearing even if she refused to ever confess that to him.

Taking all of this in consideration, the only conclusion she could muster is that she does not want to get pregnant. Not with her relationship with her partner - the one person she could always rely on - the way it is.

Getting up from the chair at her desk and walking towards the platform, she thought best to use her superior compartmentalization skills and push her personal life to the back of her mind while she concentrated on identifying yet another set of human remains and giving them the closure this person deserved.

The last personal thought she allowed herself was, _I don't want my life to be as I expected anymore_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: I am incredibly sorry for how long it has taken me to get this chapter out. RL got in the way. Also, I am not confident about how it turned out so I'd really appreciate any feedback you can give me. Oh, and if anyone is interested in beta-ing this story I would be very grateful, especially because of cultural and language barriers. Either way, I hope you enjoy it and if you can let me know what you think and/or if you find any mistakes.**

**M xx

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As soon as Booth called her with the information on their latest murder victim - a woman in her mid-thirties beaten to death and buried in a park -Brennan had agreed to meet him in the Hoover to go over the details and watch him hypothesize about what had likely happened in order to pursue the leads and question the suspects his investigation had yielded.

The woman was a social worker for the Department of Children and Family Services, currently managing a total of fifteen cases of children who had been placed in foster care, three of which had been cases of parental abuse.

Working with DCFS was always harder on Brennan, even though she would never admit it out loud. This one, however, was particularly tough given the nature of her personal thoughts as of late. Ever since her conversation with Angela two days ago she could hardly prevent her mind from straying to a little girl or boy that depended on her completely.

On the way to the first of the few foster homes they would be visiting during the investigations Booth kept stealing glances over to the passenger side of the SUV while he thought his partner was obliviously staring out the window. She was indeed staring out the window, just not quite as oblivious as he'd thought she would be.

She couldn't help but think about the children they would see there. Normally she would dismiss the thoughts based on the lack of rationale behind speculating about the images you would see for sure in a matter of minutes. Still, this one case, the DCFS files, the abused children, the crowded foster homes, it was not all speculation. She'd been there. She had experienced firsthand what it could do to a person, a child. And, yes, she was a world renowned scientist and best-selling author, but would she be all of that _and _emotionally available with basic people skills and an understanding of her own and other people's feelings had she been raised in a different environment past the ago of fifteen? A loving one?

Her musings were brought to a halt as the clicking of the driver's door being opened made her realize that they were there and Booth was already getting out of the car. She couldn't help but smile a little at the encouraging boyish grin that only he could sport at his age and his "you coming Bones? Chop, chop!" while standing next to her door with his hands on his waist and Cocky belt buckle glinting in the sunlight.

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Not one second before opening the door to her apartment and locking the door did Brennan allow herself to feel. To feel the sensory overload those foster homes provided her with. The smell of stale food and dirty carpets, the colorless walls and the pictures. Those were the worst, the faces of all the children that had been abandoned or worse. Who had to constantly be uprooted and relocated to other homes – no, houses, definitely not homes. It was when you really looked at the pictures that you noticed just how sad they were. You could count the real smiles on those walls with the fingers of just one hand, yet there was never a deliberately sad look either. It was the look of masked feelings. Hidden loneliness, sadness, angst, desperation. And that was how she felt to this day, over fifteen years after leaving the foster system. Still one her own. Lonely.

The dampness on her cheek startled her. She didn't even realize the tears had started flowing. Tears for something she had never cried over. Feeling lonely was never an issue for her, she had never let it become one.

Tonight, however, she cried. For herself, for her teenage years, for those children. Because she knew their lives, remembered what it felt like to have no one and to feel like the whole world was weighing you down. because even if she never let herself stay down, she never mourned the loss of her childhood and innocence either. She had never let herself have an open heart thinking that it could only lead to new pain and abandonment. She wasn`t meant to be in a family. Look at her, the last time she even brought it up Booth had to have brain surgery. And even though rationally she knew the tumor was an independent occurrence, not at all related to her actions, she couldn't help but feel guilty.

Suddenly, she envied her brother. Sure, he was not nearly as successful as she was, but he still managed to go through the loss of their parents and still have his own family. He was able to overcome that terrible loss and move on, find love, have children. She had seen him with the girls, the love and devotion on their eyes as they looked at him. The openness he had when near them. She wanted that, she craved it. And not because she was lonely, for the first time she realized that it was because she _could_. She could love people, she wanted to. And who better to benefit from her newfound love than kids?

That was the last thought she entertained as the emotionally spent anthropologist laid down on her bed and fell asleep, still in her work clothes and with the discreet mascara she had sported earlier smeared down her cheeks from tears. The distraught look was almost amended by the timid smile that graced her sleep as her subconscious showed her how amazing it would be to fill the void in her heart with a child.


End file.
